Tuesday, 14 October 2008


No knitting to show even though I am still working on floral jacket, slowly. So strange that one starts off a wip keen and with interest and then half way through I seem to run out of steam for colourwork. I suppose it is so labour intensive and you have to concentrate so much. For now its on the back burner and I am working on a vest type thingy in sirdar in a beautiful red/brown colour...so simple even no shaping...straight forward stocking stitch. Mind you I am awaiting for some Noro Sil Garden sock yarn to come through from Yarn and Fiber as I fancy making myself another shawl...Lady Eleanor...my first one is lovely but at times a tad too heavy...so looking forward to postie coming. Will post piccys when get round to it ..

life at te mo is a tad busy and a tad sad....a long long time ago in my blog I wrote about my Mum having Altzheimers...anyhow she nows weighs about 4st and evenmore so a total ...well I don't wish or want to use the word but if I say everything apart from her breathing she cannot do I'm sure you will get the picture. Her stomach swells up enormously as she cannot pass her gases, so food ferments inside her....my Father is in total denial regarding her he is 81 and Mum 85...she has just been in hospital...where I thought the angels would come as it is becoming increasingly sad to see her in such a total skeletal state...her potassium levels had dropped way low and I thought they would just make her comfortable...they decided to give her an endoscopy...now if I can explain my Mums body will she is rigit as a board, cannot bend her neck her body is stuck like a zig zag and I thought no way would they do this to her....so they managed to release the gas and her stomach has gone down a tad...albeit she was passing blood and black stuff...(sorry to be so descriptive and I'm sure I am writing this for myself...I find it therapeutic...but then I suppose this is what blogs are for as well).....they sent her home to Dad with bottles of sodium...potassium and heavens know what else for him to give her...basically to try and keep things going....I am starting to well up with tears writing this as I really don't want my darling Mum to leave BUT....when is enough enough....she was in such a deep sleep in hospital that at one time it took me 20 mins to bring her round from it.....now she is home I am having to deal with my Dad...who seems to think his wife will go on forever...and he thought that them releasing her gases would make her poo solid again.....he;s now back to all his everyday washing etc....he has brought all their daily/weekly food and just feeds her and feeds her...mind you that is when he can get her to open her mouth......I know the whole round will start again in a few days when the gases start to build again. I said to my darling hubby about it and he said to me "its obviously not her time yet"....part of me feels that she is waiting for her hubby. The other week he was rushed into hospital with terrible chest pains again (he has 3 stents) and they found that things were OK and he had obviously terrible stress..he came home and had a panic attack...that is something quite frightening to behold...so he is on valium. I cannot and do not even try to talk to him about Mum because of his total denial and when he talks to me I just jolly hom along...what elese can I do...he is and has done such a wonderful job with Mum and I wonder how he is going to be when the time comes....I feel he will go either one way or the other....its so sad when you see your Mum and Dad who have been together 56 years....that their prsonal life chapters of their life books will change.....anyway lovely people who have read this and stayed with it...thank you for stopping by.


Guro said...

Hello to you, this was sad reading, but as you mentioned yourself, I think it'll do you good to write about. I will stop by more frequently so see how you do. Hugs from a stranger. I found you some time ago in "bloglandia"

Wye Sue said...

Keep Strong. It is a horrible thing to see someone you love suffer, and not nice when there is nothing you can do to make it better. I hope that her suffering will soon be over for you all and that your Dad copes with his feelings of denial.
Find someone to talk to and share your feelings and thougths, it will help you in the long term no matter how difficult it is to talk.
Remember happy times, and try and remember to eat !!

Helen said...

Thanks for popping into my blog. I am so sorry you are having such a terrible time. I hope you enjoy your spinning, as it is, as so often pointed out to me while demonstrating, a very therapuetic craft! If you want a lovely soft fleece to spin look out for shetland fleece.

Susie Hewer said...

I am so sorry that your mum is at that dreadful stage in the disease. I know exactly the mixed feelings you have at the moment. It is just awful for all of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please feel free to email me if you need a chat (susiehewerATcontrapunctusDOTcoDOTuk)

kathryn said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your Mum's suffering. It's an awful situation for both you and your Dad. I agree with Wye sue - I'm sure finding someone to talk to would help enormously.

gilraen said...

I just wanted to give you a big 'virtual' hug. You are very good and very brave. Thinking and praying for you and your parents.