Wednesday, 19 November 2008

Home pics and other...

Hello...thought I would start with Mum today....ok where we are at now is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????????.....if somebody had told me how uncredibly sad...painful....heartbreaking and all adjectives that I could add....that watching someone in the end stages of altzheimers would be maybe unless I was seeing it for myself I would and could never ever comprehend. The hospital sent my darling Mum home about 16 days ago.....Dad wanted her home I had other thoughts wondering why. I spoke to the hospital and asked about her and her stomach blowing up and said that she would be back in again in a week or so and they said they would deal with that then. So she went home...Dad has been feeding her...albeit very little...and this week her stomach is blown up and hard again....the doctor called and said to Dad "oh we can look at putting a tube in the side of her stomach with a valve to release the gases.....all this intestinal abdominal catastrophes are all part of her aging process and not linked with the dementia. WHAT........why........I asked my Dad how he felt and he said that he lost his wife four years ago...I said to him rather quietly..."don't you feel enough is enough now Dad".....he didn't answer...I could sense him choking up and I quickly changed the subject...this seems to be an unspoken rule of thumb between the two of us now....he brooches questions with me I try to answer then he understandably shys away.

Anyway today wed 19th Nov...I rang him to ask how things were...well he is awaiting the doctor as apart from all the blisters and sores that are breaking out over her body.....a hugh rash is appearing over her torso......I believe her body is now breaking down rapidly now.....he said he hopes the doctors take her back into hospital....honestly what can I say to this charming delightful Father of mine...he knows what is coming...but I believe his heart and hopes go the other way. I know not. He said to me that Mum couldn't even cry if she wanted to...her brain is completely d..d...there I cannot even bring myself to type the full I await a phone call later this day to find out what is happening...he says he prefers to ring

Anyway onto tuther things. well I completed by sirdar vest and when finished it was uuurrrggghhh! too big. Apologies I will have to post piccys seems to be playing up.....will be back in the next couple of days...ttfn x


Wye Sue said...

Keep Strong.
Trying to think of things that might help you get through - set a phone time to others, say 8pm - 9am when you wont answer the phone. It will at least give you some time when you dont jump everytime the phone goes.
It sounds like your Dad has come to terms in his own way. I do hope that he manages to talk soon - it will be good for both of you.

Do try and remember the good times and not the last times,

Much love, I'll be thinking of you

gilraen said...

{{{{Hugs}}}} Thinking of you.

Susie Hewer said...

Oh this disease really is the pits. I get choked up every time I read another story like your mums. Many people still think that dementia just affects the mind but they don't realise that the loss of brain function leads to loss of bodily function.

Your dad knows that the inevitable will happen but he doesn't want to put it into words because then it really does become real.

I remember THE phone call about mum vividly. We'd just been celebrating my first live TV interview. The irony was palpable.

I am so very sorry.

Artis-Anne said...

How heartbreaking your post is and I so feel for you and your Dad.
Thinking of you and sending hugs your way