Christmas aaaaaarrrgggghhh!

Is it me, am I getting older and becoming a Christmas Grinch!!!!!...do you know what I stood in the middle of Churchill Square in Brighton and stood and watched people and well I just felt I wanted to open my mouth and scream..."WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING"?....just shopping and shopping and shopping....I passed by a small toy shop which was heaving, I heard from some small children....Aw I want, I want...pleaseeeeeeee, oh but I REAAALLLY DO WANT IT!....the looks on some of the parents faces.....not wanting to deny their darlings things.......but £40/£50/£60 a toy, wheres the magic gone, when you hear some 5 year olds saying they don't believe in Father Christmas. I find it all very sad, so much consumerism, so much commercialism. It got me thinking back to my childhood...and I wonder if the children of now will have such fond memories, I doubt it somehow. I used to get so excited as everyyear my darling Nanny would knit me a (well I used to call it a swiss sweater then) but you know the jumpers with the knitted yokes in all the different colours....and I would get a snuggly hot water bottle and I would love waking up in the early hours of the morning to see if Santa had left my stocking at the end of the bed...I used to get so excited to feel the noise when I kicked the covers and blankets. (no duvets back then good old tuck me in tight sheets and wool blankets with an eiderdown). It was a nylon stocking filled with an orange or satsuma an apple and some brazil nuts....a couple of blowers you know the ones with the feathers on the end....oh a Jackie magazine or something girlie...of course the bag of chocolate money and some fun odds and ends...but I used to love it...Mum would generally come in then saying its only 5 a.m. ops!
I can still picture my Christmas days as a youngster, actually I can recall quite a few. We always used to buy very small pressies for the tree for boxing day and Dad would always buy Mum her Max Factor powder makeup.....and Estee Lauder Youth Dew.....the house we lived in when I was growing up was a Victorian terrace, no central heating, no hot water. The windows used to freeze up on the insides and I would get washed and dressed in bed sometimes, with Mum holding my clothes in front of a single bar electric fire it was that cold. Dad would always be telling me to shut the lounge door to keep the heat in. But Christmases at home were so full of fun, love, laughter and family. I remember Mum used to buy cheap tumblers and use special paint to paint holly and berries on them.....seems my darling Mum was ahead of her time back then.....just sinmple things to make things homely. BUT...maybe its me being silly in my reminiscing....its just that looking around today as I did, I just saw, stress and rudeness, nobody smiling. I held doors open for people to go through, not one thankyou. I stopped to let people by, did they see me, did they heck. I feel lots of people have forgotten what its about, I still get choked up thinking about what Christmas is really about....hey ho! and the older I get the more choked up I get....I would love to have my time over with my children again and enjoy their faces....but then I can enjoy the Grandchildren and boy oh boy is that I heart wrencher. I cannot believe the love I feel from the pit of my stomach. I could just sit and sit and watch them for ages, well thats when they're not climbing all over me going "Naaaaannnnnnnnnyyyyyy".....cuddles, kiss (or mats as one of them calls them) and of course "Aahhhs" which are cheek cuddles....and when I do something silly my darling little grandson just says "funny". Oh of cours we mustn't forget the butterfly kisses, these are something I used to do with my own daughters, I used to flutter my eyelashes against their cheeks when they were toddlers and of course this Nanny is doing the same with her twin 2 year old grandbubs.
They are a complete joy and me and DH will enjoy our Christmas this year through their eyes.....as for the others dashing here there and everywhere....let them...one day they will know!

Christmas Wishes to all xxx